Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize