wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
