Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
