How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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