I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
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I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
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im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
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