But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
be right there i have to get my cape
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
