Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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