planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
