I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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