You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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