How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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