this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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