i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
send nudes
from the living room?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
