oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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