Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
