She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
