what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I know her cup size but not her name....
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
