Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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