i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize