i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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