Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
ttyl tear gas
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
