I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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