That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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