So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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