actually, I'm a sock model
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
