you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
