Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
