Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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