Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
