I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
