Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize