the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize