Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
