Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
