LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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