just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
