I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
