FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
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