i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
you never un-have a 4some
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
