Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
