Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
