Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
