my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
