my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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