The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
