I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
