He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
NoShamevember. You game?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
