I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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