Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
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I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
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I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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