Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I have fence marks all over my body
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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