Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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