Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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