perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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