sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
