Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
