capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
