i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
