She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
