If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
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This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
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Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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