Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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